Saplings and Sunflowers

 When we lived on the East Coast we had a colorful church leader. Our family sorting donations at a local men's shelter He was actually an auctioneer.  He could talk ten million miles a minute and he had a lot of good down-home advice.  One Sunday he came to our congregation to speak.  He shared this advice from something he read and it has always stuck with me.  I found this on a website from  Missouri's Liberty High School : The Drug Problem in America The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, ''Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?'' I replied: "I had a drug problem when I was young": I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. ... I was drug to the kitchen sink to have...

I live in a fairly wealthy neighborhood.  When I enter houses around me I sometimes feel that I am being escorted into Buckingham Palace.  Perfectly shined floors.  Clutter-free countertops.  White baseboards.  It’s intimidating, to say the least. And, while I may never have things that clean, I want my house to be healthy and manageable.  I want to be able to find things and have some order. Unfortunately, my cleaning style for much of my life could have been summed up in the title of one of my favorite children’s books: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie .  I would start in the kitchen in the morning.  I would have unloaded approximately two cups from the dishes in the dishwasher when I would get a telephone call.  While talking on the telephone I would decide to work on folding laundry.  When I walked into the laundry room I would notice that the laundry room garbage had not been emptied.  I would take out the laundry room garbage sack...

I love this quote!  We have been in a bit of a "marriage rut" lately.  This tends to happen at the end of soccer season.  Cars zoom in all different directions and all of a sudden I sit down at the dinner table and realize that my husband has lost five pounds and is growing an afro.  Well, maybe that was just a dinner guest.  I'll have to check next Monday when I see him again... We heard of a couple who were both on second marriages who were given some advice as they were being married.  The advice was that they needed to make each other the top priority.  Nothing should come ahead of their spouse, including the kids.  This is advice that all of us, myself included, would do well to follow. The fact is that I can't think of anything that's better for kids than parents with a happy, stable marriage.  So, why do we put so much effort into fixing up our houses and our yards and buying fancy clothes and devices for our kids when that money might...

If family finance wasn't already bad enough, Covid hit, and now we have discovered that many people find themselves in a state of financial despair.  Lost jobs, rising prices, strange income situations - they have all taken their toll. Our family is not wealthy by any means.  We live on the salary of one engineer.  But I have found that the following principles have contributed to peace about our family finances: Give first.   We have followed this principle throughout our married life.  We give before we do anything else with our paycheck.  We have chosen to donate to our church and also give money to humanitarian aid and other worthwhile  Save for the future.   Saving 10% is a good rule of thumb. Again, the savings comes out before we do other things.  We have been saving like this for years.  Now, as our children are going off to college we aren't stressed.  We saved money for these expenses a long time ago. Budget.   F...

  One of us asked our son the other day what we did well in our marriage. He was ten and he paused for a minute. I started to panic as I remembered the many tense moments in our marriage. He then said, “You guys have councils together.” I thought that was interesting. Finally! One thing we do well.  But for me, effective couple council time is an essential part of the glue that keeps our marriage strong. We have made a real effort on Sunday mornings to have a couple council where we talk about problems, goals, and the direction that our family is headed. It’s not always pleasant but it keeps us on the same page. It is honestly one of the highlights of our marital week.  What do we do? We have a regular time for our council. Ours is Sunday morning. We usually have a notebook where we take notes on the council discussion. One of us is the note taker.  We start with a prayer. Involving God is crucial to the success of this time. God helps us see things dif...

This photo is hitting a little too close to home.  Especially in the summertime with all of our children at home.  Yes, we love our children but we don't always feel capable of parenting them.  In our home this summer we have five boys, one girl, and untold numbers of little friends tracking dirt through our house.  We can go from nice to frazzled, bleary-eyed, and ranting in about an hour.  And often it is our spouses or children who pay the price.  So, what can we do to keep our cool when the days get long and hot?  One key, according to Psychology Today  is prevention.  And prevention means managing our stress before  it gets to epic levels. Here are some things you can do to recharge your batteries so that you don't fizzle out - and hey, you can remember these things using the word "recharge."  Now that's an added bonus! Rest : Go to bed before 10:30.  Get seven to eight hours of sleep.  Our tempers flare more easily ...

Partially-shoed son attempts to accelerate his chores. Promptly at 5:30 a.m., our children jump out of bed. We hear the quiet sounds of singing as they cheerfully get dressed, tidy their rooms, and begin their household tasks. They tiptoe up to our room with a wonderful homemade breakfast. With satisfaction we hear the vacuum running and enjoy the fresh scent of lemon cleaner as we sit in bed, reading books, and eating waffles made from scratch. Ha! Have we gone delirious? Yes. As any parent knows, getting children to work is serious work.  In our home chore time brings a chorus of whining and complaining, sometimes accompanied by tears.  Some children flee for the sanctuary of the bathroom.  Others try the camouflage technique of blending into the couch and hoping we won't notice.  But we try to hold firm to our summer deadline - chores must be done by eleven a.m., and before they play with friends or do anything fun, chores must be complete. Sometimes we fee...