Unmet Expectations

I had years of disappointing birthdays stacked up behind me. Birthdays where my husband didn’t get the right gift. Or he forgot the flowers. Or my family just pretty much forgot the holiday altogether. Years where no one really emailed or called or not as many people as I had hoped. Or the cake wasn’t right. Or no card. Or the card message wasn’t long enough. You get the picture. It was getting to the point where I was dreading my birthday because it just never met my expectations.

Expectation is the death of all joy.

So, I decided to try a different approach. Instead of spending all of my time mourning about what I wasn’t getting for my birthday, I decided to make my birthdays giving birthdays. I have had some wonderful adventures on my giving birthdays. One year I decided to do some service by leaving flowers on the grave of my dear friend Lois Price. I accidentally locked my keys in the car and my old school phone had run out of minutes. Here I was, stuck in a cemetery in Flagstaff, Arizona with no escape. After walking around for a while I finally managed to track down someone who was mowing lawns who let me call my husband on his phone. While I waited for my husband to bring me the keys I had the best birthday ever - looking at headstones and reading the inscriptions on them. I made some interesting discoveries about what is important in life, and which graves seemed the happiest. When someone sums up your life in about ten words, what would you want them to say? I decided I would not want to leave God, family or love out of my life.

So, if you are struggling with unmet expectations in any area of your life try turning your thoughts to others and to service. I guarantee that you will see some exciting and unexpected results.

Comments

God Isn't Finished With Him Yet

When my husband was in graduate school we attended a meeting where a distinguished man spoke. He had been successful professionally, was happily married to a lovely woman, and was the father of a very large family. He spoke eloquently of his life and at one point, he posted a picture of himself as a teenager in his presentation. A wild-looking young man with long, fringed hair flashed on the screen. This picture looked nothing like the clean-cut, well-dressed man before us. The man related that in high school he had gone through a rebellious phase and this haircut reflected that time and attitude. Once, a woman had made a comment to his mother about her son's outlandish haircut and ways. His mother, irked by the comment, retorted "Maybe, God isn't finished with him yet!" I loved that phrase. This mother saw potential in her son and had hope for his future. She knew that with God, change is always possible. Another mother who I love is St. Augustine...

How to Avoid Being a "Screaming Monkey Parent"

This photo is hitting a little too close to home. Especially in the summertime with all of our children at home. Yes, we love our children but we don't always feel capable of parenting them. In our home this summer we have five boys, one girl, and untold numbers of little friends tracking dirt through our house. We can go from nice to frazzled, bleary-eyed, and ranting in about an hour. And often it is our spouses or children who pay the price. So, what can we do to keep our cool when the days get long and hot? One key, according to Psychology Today is prevention. And prevention means managing our stress before it gets to epic levels. Here are some things you can do to recharge your batteries so that you don't fizzle out - and hey, you can remember these things using the word "recharge." Now that's an added bonus! Rest : Go to bed before 10:30. Get seven to eight hours of sleep. Our tempers flare more easily ...

Where Mother Is...

A while ago I was trying to make an important decision about a significant opportunity in my life. It would have been a dream come true for many people and it seemed too good to pass up. The only problem was that no matter how I tried to make it work, it would require a significant amount of time away from my growing family. I prayed, stewed and turned it over in my mind. One day I was driving home and I looked up to the mountain. Something caught my attention that I had never noticed before. Going down the mountain was a line of trees surrounded by brown – brown being the common color in our arid climate. I knew they were following a water line and that that was the only way for trees to grow in this mountain desert. And then suddenly I had a thought flash into my mind: “where mother is, children grow.” This was a decision maker for me. I knew that as much as I wanted this opportunity and as much as it “made sense” in every conceivable way, it was not right because I would ...

Saplings and Sunflowers

Search This Blog